The Silent KillerĀ 

I’ve started this Blog 100 times, 100 ways

I’m being bullied 

It hurts

I can’t stand up for myself 

I’m lost and confused 


I am  a 33 years old women, and I’m being bullied….wait what. 

I’m not in High School, I’m not in a sorority. I am a grown women being bullied by another grown women.

Courage The heart of our Core Values, courage is the mental, moral, and physical strength ingrained in Marines that sees them through the challenges of combat and the mastery of fear, and to do what is right, to adhere to a higher standard of personal conduct, to lead by example, and to make tough decisions under stress and pressure. It is the inner strength that enables a Marine to take that extra step.

I was raised by a Marine with these Values

I have always tried to  adhere to a higher standard, and it is my personal goal on a daily basis to be able to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. I’m the one who can’t stand up in this situation.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. StopBullying.gov

The hardest thing for me in this situation is I’m the one being excluded. I’m the one who’s mental health is being compromised, the worst part is it’s a women. It’s a silent killer and I need to speak up, but I am so scared. The intimidation is real. This is my first step. I will not live afraid any more ,and I will not keep it a secret. I am standing up for my self , but also as an example for my son. 

Don’t live in silence 

-Tuella

Psychology Today
Bullying Prevention White House

The Dark side of the Bump

According to The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists ( ACOG), between 14-23% of womenwill struggle with some symptoms of depression in pregnancy.

 This was a Stat I remember sitting in bed reading through my tears.  I had just gotten into another fight with my husband, We had been married about six months . No stranger to a passionate argument, this one felt diffrent.    

The only reason I won’t hurt myself is because I might be pregnant.

Who says that? Who feels that? What was I thinking… Had I lost my mind.

It was months before I started researching Depression During Pregnancy as I sat alone in our bedroom quietly sobbing to myself I realized I wasn’t alone. Not only had other women experinced what I was going through, but It was infact a new theroy . There was a time when doctors belived it was impossible to be anything but happy while you were pregnant.  

  He is going to be so happy because I am so sad.

I would sit on the floor sobbing and my husband feeling so helpless would hold me and say… Poo šŸ˜¦ ( our term of endearment )  I had convinced myself the child inside of me was taking all of my happiness and it was okay I felt this way because he was going to be so happy!

  He turned out to be amazingly happy, and he makes me amazingly happy!!!

The idea that I was overwhelmed with sadness during what some women refer to as the best time of there life was more pressure than I could handle.  

 There are lots of hormonal ups and downs during pregnancy, but depression and anxiety are all consuming and take over. Those voices speak louder than any other. Even the statistics make you feel tiny…you are less than a Quater so you must be broken. 

  No I believe I am a small percentage that is willing to stand up and say 

I was sad during my pregnancy and I am a happy well adjusted and gracious mother, my mental health does not change how much I love my child.

 My willingness to accept help allows me to further care for myself my family and my child.  

Depression during and after pregnancy: A resource for women, their families and friends from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Office of Maternal and Child Health

Mental Health America, nmha.org or 800-273-TALK (8255)

mothertobaby.org,  Medications and more during pregnancy and breastfeeding from the Organization of Teratology Information Specialists (OTIS)

National Alliance on Mental Illness, nami.org or 800-950-NAMI (6264)

National Institute of Mental Health 

Substance and Mental Health Services Administration 

Source March of Dimes