The Silent Killer 

I’ve started this Blog 100 times, 100 ways

I’m being bullied 

It hurts

I can’t stand up for myself 

I’m lost and confused 


I am  a 33 years old women, and I’m being bullied….wait what. 

I’m not in High School, I’m not in a sorority. I am a grown women being bullied by another grown women.

Courage The heart of our Core Values, courage is the mental, moral, and physical strength ingrained in Marines that sees them through the challenges of combat and the mastery of fear, and to do what is right, to adhere to a higher standard of personal conduct, to lead by example, and to make tough decisions under stress and pressure. It is the inner strength that enables a Marine to take that extra step.

I was raised by a Marine with these Values

I have always tried to  adhere to a higher standard, and it is my personal goal on a daily basis to be able to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. I’m the one who can’t stand up in this situation.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. StopBullying.gov

The hardest thing for me in this situation is I’m the one being excluded. I’m the one who’s mental health is being compromised, the worst part is it’s a women. It’s a silent killer and I need to speak up, but I am so scared. The intimidation is real. This is my first step. I will not live afraid any more ,and I will not keep it a secret. I am standing up for my self , but also as an example for my son. 

Don’t live in silence 

-Tuella

Psychology Today
Bullying Prevention White House

9 Months of Black a True Story 

The prompt on WordPress says 

Share your story here…

That’s exactly what I’m doing. Someone asked me today what my goal was with the blog; originally it started as a fashion blog because who doesn’t want to have a reason for all those selfies.    

 Once I found out I was pregnant I was terrified of what it was going to do to my body. I had worked so hard to be in great shape to feel good in my clothes, so good infact I was shareing pictures of myself with millions of strangers. 

 The first time my husband and I tried to conceive I couldn’t do it, I was in tears. I didn’t want to get fat.  

You’re not fat, you’re pregnant 

  I failed to see the difference honestly, and what is maternity fashion anyway. I spent my entire life trying to conseal my not so flat stomache, or my wide hips. All of a sudden it was acceptable to be round.  

 In the early months of my pregnancy I counted my calories to make sure my child was nourished and I wasn’t going to gain more than the 25-30 pounds at the doctors request .I gained 25lbs in three months eating 2000-1500 calories a day, and continuing my regular workouts.  

 I felt helpless, by my second trimester I couldn’t do Pilaties or Barre all I could do was walk on the elliptical.. Well that just plain sucks.  

 I wore leggings and black tops, mostly target and H&M that was an easy staple before pregnancy now it was a prison. I was stuck in my own body and forced to act as though it was the greatest time of my life because it was way more difficult to tell people I was miserable. 

 Where is the silver lining in all of this Fashion misery…. Those things you hear about the weight coming off fast. Actually true; I was 20lbs down the first week after my son was born. I was so excited to be able to bend over once I was clear to excersise again it was the greatest feeling of my life. 

 I have this amazing little ball of joy that loves long walks and giggles when I jump rope, my entire pregnancy I failed to realize it was infact temporary . Like so many hard ships in your life… This too shall pass, and it did.  

 The prize at the end was well worth it and the human body is an amazing thing.  

 

Your body will never be the same after you have a baby

Your right it’s not, it’s better than ever and how I view myself now is diffrent, there is a difference between pregnant and fat; fat doesn’t give you a baby it just gives you diabetes.   

 Love yourself today, it’s the only one you get. 

The Dark side of the Bump

According to The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists ( ACOG), between 14-23% of womenwill struggle with some symptoms of depression in pregnancy.

 This was a Stat I remember sitting in bed reading through my tears.  I had just gotten into another fight with my husband, We had been married about six months . No stranger to a passionate argument, this one felt diffrent.    

The only reason I won’t hurt myself is because I might be pregnant.

Who says that? Who feels that? What was I thinking… Had I lost my mind.

It was months before I started researching Depression During Pregnancy as I sat alone in our bedroom quietly sobbing to myself I realized I wasn’t alone. Not only had other women experinced what I was going through, but It was infact a new theroy . There was a time when doctors belived it was impossible to be anything but happy while you were pregnant.  

  He is going to be so happy because I am so sad.

I would sit on the floor sobbing and my husband feeling so helpless would hold me and say… Poo 😦 ( our term of endearment )  I had convinced myself the child inside of me was taking all of my happiness and it was okay I felt this way because he was going to be so happy!

  He turned out to be amazingly happy, and he makes me amazingly happy!!!

The idea that I was overwhelmed with sadness during what some women refer to as the best time of there life was more pressure than I could handle.  

 There are lots of hormonal ups and downs during pregnancy, but depression and anxiety are all consuming and take over. Those voices speak louder than any other. Even the statistics make you feel tiny…you are less than a Quater so you must be broken. 

  No I believe I am a small percentage that is willing to stand up and say 

I was sad during my pregnancy and I am a happy well adjusted and gracious mother, my mental health does not change how much I love my child.

 My willingness to accept help allows me to further care for myself my family and my child.  

Depression during and after pregnancy: A resource for women, their families and friends from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Office of Maternal and Child Health

Mental Health America, nmha.org or 800-273-TALK (8255)

mothertobaby.org,  Medications and more during pregnancy and breastfeeding from the Organization of Teratology Information Specialists (OTIS)

National Alliance on Mental Illness, nami.org or 800-950-NAMI (6264)

National Institute of Mental Health 

Substance and Mental Health Services Administration 

Source March of Dimes

Blow down not up

Most women wish for a man in their bathroom every morning.. A man named Chris McMillan (Jen Aniston’s stylist).
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Well, not everyone has one of those so here is my How To Style your naturally wavy hair in 20 min and look like it took Hours!

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First the Tools :
Professional Blowdryer
Round Brush
Vent Brush
Product

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This is my hair ,out of the shower.

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Apply a product that will moisturize your hair and protect it from the heat. I’m using Living Proof PHD, it is a 5 in 1 that adds shine, moisture, volume, and frizz elimination! Dime or quarter size depending on your hair thickness and length.

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Put the product on your hands like your putting lotion on them, fronts and backs of your hands, then apply roots to ends until your hands are clean.

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Comb the product through out with your vent brush.

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I’m using a Babyliss Pro ItaliaBrava
It is 2000 watts of hairstyling awesomeness with adjustable heat settings and a turbo button! I use high heat and high power for my thick hair, lower your heat for finer hair.

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Start with the vent brush blowing the hair around your face straight back. Follow the brush with the dryer to smooth your your hair line.

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Section an inch of hair around your hair line, in front of your ears.

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Push your round brush down to gather the inch section and roll back toward your face.

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Blow the section away from your face, notice my section is the same width as my brush. Keeping your sections clean and small will allow you maintain control.

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Pull the brush through the lower portion of the section , still blowing away from the face.

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Twist the brush lightly while moving down the section, the nozzle of the dryer should follow the section until you corkscrew the brush out of your hair!

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I have bangs/ fringe that I am growing out; so to incorporate them I set the dryer on turbo and blast with hot heat holding it in my hands, then cool shot to set.

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Repeat on the other side .

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Next section is the underneath section.

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Split the sections in two. The front and the underneath are what frames your face, this is why I start with the most important section.

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Notice the section is the same width as my brush. Brush the hair into your round brush same manor as the front, just backwards.

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Slowly cork screwing the section till the ends drop out following the brush with the nozzle.

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Now that the underneath and front are styled, drop the rest of your hair down, and spray with a little more product. living proof flex spray will protect your hair from the heat and add a slight bit more hold.

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Grab your crown section to smooth the top hairs .

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Smooth both sides of the crown.

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Always finishing a section the way it will lay, so blow dry the cuticle smooth, and down away from the face.

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Cork screw this section slowly to finish the ends.

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Incorporate all of the sections together with the round brush.

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Marrying the top and bottom section will push the curls in a similar direction, because the middle section of hair is only 50 percent dry it will leave humidity in the hair, so your hair will get bigger as it drys.

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Notice there is hair that isn’t smooth, this is a 20 min fix so don’t expect JLo @ the Grammys when you are done.

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Smooth some of the sections together at the ends to avoid frizzy ends.

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Because you have wavy, or curly hair you can brush these sections together with your vent brush fusing the hair together. ( no recommended for straight hair)

20140520-130800-47280019.jpg Brush these sections together flipping the ends up and smoothing them with your hands.

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Apply a pea size of a moisturizer, or shine drop… See PHD does it all!

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Smooth it through your hair, away from your face in a twisting motion.

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Make a duck face and take selfie!

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Cuz your done baby!

Fashion Dynasty Note:
Why a professional dryer? This dyer will get hotter and work more efficiently than a cheap dryer, because it is powered by Ferrari it will far out last the toy Motor in your 20$ dryer. Be sure and get at least a wattage of 1875! Babyliss, Rusk , Conair are my go to dryers, irons and tools!

Selfie inspired : a manifesto

Last night I found my self uninspired… I purchased a brand new bag, and felt like nothing in my closet was good enough! 20140519-110313-39793234.jpg
So I poked through My Pinterest

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Found this amazing out fit from one of my friends boards! I started thinking I need to put my own selfie collection together! So her it is! Hope it’s inspiring.

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If you like my style you can follow me on Instagram

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That guy who shows up in my selfie occasionally is my Husband check out his Instagram

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He naturally challenges my style choices!

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And photobombs me!

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He also takes my selfie plus one!
Now that your sick of looking at my face! Hope you steal my outfits